Pt 25: House Gnomes

Thursday June 9th, 2016
8:11 am (3 7/8 hours of sleep)

Why must one be woken? Why must one be roused?

Alarms rose within my head. The lord of the house had been slain and a new governor was to be appointed. Tommy Twelve Mist Toes was livid with translucent excitement. It had been far too long since Vilacuddra had been to work in the outlying provinces. Slightly aroused and not the least bit confused, I found information fleeting and not at all helpful.

Taken by masters of unseen force, Pellin felt her fate was not entirely her own. Deadly pantomimes had found everything there was to know about her cart's inner workings. Not one but two officers had been missing of late.

Had it really taken me this long to realize the game that was afoot? What kinds of people could you muster these days? Loyal people of good standing willing to go to the grave with your secrets? How many men had claimed as such? Why were the killings persisting?

No answers came as I called out for a friend in the night. What kinds of people was I making alligences with?

Terry Bufont had the scuttling wariness and beady eyes of a crayfish. He would definitely be one of the first to betray me.

Eva Langorum was a conniving young thing. Though how much physical torture she would be able to withstand, I do not know. Not much, is my assumption.

The Templetons had several court wizards at their disposal. This would give them the chance of holding out well after the riots had started. Though it was just a matter of time until they too were captured or executed.

Tommy Treakleman was an exceptional gambler and quite the spirited liar. He had the greatest chance of escape from the rebellion's trappings. He would be the man I would choose to bring my secret forward unto a new world.

The house gnomes of Prelen Prix't would prove difficult to ignore. However, some salt and a good eye for change could bring any short mythical creatures down.

Pt 13: Almost No Knowledge

Saturday May 28th, 2016
8:23 am (6 1/2 hours of sleep)

Zillquitch Magnon The High Wizard of Frazathon, resident of Castle Krintaug, was an easily impressed man. Grow your beard out, he's impressed. Wash your pits, he's impressed. Let go of all earthly emotional attachments to seek higher planes of consciousness, he's impressed. Once an initiate wizardling washed his socks twice daily. Zillquitch was so impressed he promoted the initiate wizardling to the position and title of Lesser-Almost-But-Not-Quite-As-High-Of-A-Wizard Third Class.

It got to be that everyone in the order had almost no knowledge of the arcane but was damn good at art and crafts and interior design. So when the orcs and ghouls of Paizeron came invading, nearly the entire order was killed. However, the orcs and ghouls both agreed that the Castle Krintaug's ground's were exceedingly clean and impressively decorated.

The highest of wizarding councils got wind of the incident and sent orders for Zillquitch's resignation. To which he replied that had the letter not come written in such an impressively beautiful hand and on such impressively gorgeous staionary, he might not have obliged the request at all. Zillquitch Magnon The High Wizard of Frazathon stepped down and upon moving to the mountains, dedicated the rest of his days to attempting to brew the most perfect cup of tea.

Zillquitch's impressive successor Grand Wizard Bartok Feien, was such a hard man to impress that only the wizards who were the most talented and most knowledgeable in the arcane arts were given any advancements at all. The quality of wizards around were unmatched.

The news of such high quality wizards led to a flurry of letters to Castle Krintoug from High Wizard Zillquitch stating that he had heard of the amazing job his successor had been doing and that since he himself was so very impressed that as a gift, he would like to send his best strain of tea leaves to be grown there at the castle. To which Bartok replied, "Yeah, sure that sounds fine".

The tea in that area became well known throughout the world and flowed for decades. This brought about a reign of peace nobody had experienced in quite some time. Even the orcs and ghouls of Paizeron thought better of invading due to the tea being "so fine".

Pt 7: The Secret of Life

Sunday May 22nd, 2016
7:15 am (3 1/4 hours of sleep)

Trains filled with sagnith oil traveled silkily by moonlight so as not to be seen by the overly large Xurious Pale Boys. Quiz knowledge knows nothing of fruit pies but makes every effort to be seen by neanderthals in the moon. Tasks of great knowledge are taxing on kittens as their young and fluffy minds are so impressionable. They eventually stop finding ways to communicate effectively.

Trouble always seems to find a way to the wooded man's lair. He scrimps and saves but tonight his face is in a purply hue of shiny proportions. Figs from London imbue one's feet with an amazing level of self confidence. Tandem bikes are waiting until we all fall asleep before the revolution starts. Start up tech businesses are trying to find the bottle of the secret of life. This bottle has the ability to make become the essence of life itself. Distilled and brewed life essence is much more filled than the rest of us seem to think. When two or more know of the Shadishious Beast, the creature's stench multiplies to unthought of levels.

"Have your men come around later and we can get that siesta up and running like a couple of boss monkeys from the trailer trash movie 'Trailer Trailer'."

When Big Bob left his work space yesterday, he didn't realize he would beep his last. Only the smallest men of the Tumgler tribe may sign up to feed the creatures of their village.

Once upon a night so young,

I found a vamp who'd lost her tongue,

She looked at me with teary eyes,

While I fitted her for ten neckties,

She took those ties upon a trek,

Which ended with her broken neck.

Some powerful monsters go after a vampire's neck as some revenge fantasy gone wrong. Nearly all space slugs find their passions before it's too late. Timmy the last of the daredevil slugs, a title given to his family by the wizard  Shaharsafa Harsa, lived in a land comprised of carbonated salt cubes. Shaharsafa Harsa is one of the few reality wizards to dabble in helping others, which has lead to many people learning life lessons that don't mean anything at all.