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The Asscapades is a series of complete and utter nonsense. Well, it's a morning exercise developed by Julia Cameron in her best selling book The Artist's Way. In it, she describes a means of getting all the drivel and negativity out of yourself before your conscious and rational mind is fully awake.

I have been doing this off and on (mostly off) for the better part of a decade. However, as I go through her course once more, I've found that my morning pages have a comically chaotic nonsense to them. So seeing them take such a turn I decided I would make a blog full of my morning pages or "brain drain". These are The Asscapades.

Showing posts with label London. Show all posts
Showing posts with label London. Show all posts

Friday, 3 June 2016

Pt 20: Civil Duty

Saturday June 4th, 2016
9:30 am (8 hours of sleep)

The bunny brigade squadron #9 was the hippiest and hoppiest of the wartime bunny squads. Sheri Duboui made sure her land holdings never got into her brother's clutches. She knew exactly how to stare off into nothingness like the rest of her gal pals.

Tame shrews were harder to come by than one expected them to be. Shakespeare had brought a revolution to the rodent taming business with a special emphasis on shrews. However, it's died down a bit as of late. Harry Houdini was a master shrew tamer. He would travel the world taming shrews. He came to it naturally but his father disapproved of his taming habits.

Tagglin Feire was a wee man who sat on stumps. He thought it his civil duty and took it very seriously. That is, until he deigned to sit on the Queen's stumps. Royal stumps are not to be touched let alone sat upon. He was thrown into The Tower of London for six days and twelve nights.

Barbara Streisand feels no compassion for the tiny man in apartment eight. She once found him eating with his hands to which there was great screaming.

Tiles are the textile equivalent to a bacon wrapped peach cobbler in some cultures. Bacon wrapped peach cobbler being the premier place of business classes in the upper west side.

Wonder Woman was created by a polygamist. Well, more of a bohemian with a wife and girlfriend having all of them live together. That is actual fact.

Chances are you'll never slay a dragon or punch a manticore so you'll never be quite as cool as Surias Dumph Puncher of All Things Mythical. He once punched a dragon in the mouth so hard it's kidneys ruptured. So... yeah.

Thomas the Tank Engine never saw the apocalypse coming. He did, however, thrive in it's harsh conditions. "Kill or be killed" was Thomas' motto and he followed it to the letter no matter the circumstances. Trains will do that, you know. First sign of trouble and they go feral, taking down anyone they come across.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Pt 7: The Secret of Life

Sunday May 22nd, 2016
7:15 am (3 1/4 hours of sleep)

Trains filled with sagnith oil traveled silkily by moonlight so as not to be seen by the overly large Xurious Pale Boys. Quiz knowledge knows nothing of fruit pies but makes every effort to be seen by neanderthals in the moon. Tasks of great knowledge are taxing on kittens as their young and fluffy minds are so impressionable. They eventually stop finding ways to communicate effectively.

Trouble always seems to find a way to the wooded man's lair. He scrimps and saves but tonight his face is in a purply hue of shiny proportions. Figs from London imbue one's feet with an amazing level of self confidence. Tandem bikes are waiting until we all fall asleep before the revolution starts. Start up tech businesses are trying to find the bottle of the secret of life. This bottle has the ability to make become the essence of life itself. Distilled and brewed life essence is much more filled than the rest of us seem to think. When two or more know of the Shadishious Beast, the creature's stench multiplies to unthought of levels.

"Have your men come around later and we can get that siesta up and running like a couple of boss monkeys from the trailer trash movie 'Trailer Trailer'."

When Big Bob left his work space yesterday, he didn't realize he would beep his last. Only the smallest men of the Tumgler tribe may sign up to feed the creatures of their village.

Once upon a night so young,
I found a vamp who'd lost her tongue,
She looked at me with teary eyes,
While I fitted her for ten neckties,
She took those ties upon a trek,
Which ended with her broken neck.

Some powerful monsters go after a vampire's neck as some revenge fantasy gone wrong. Nearly all space slugs find their passions before it's too late. Timmy the last of the daredevil slugs, a title given to his family by the wizard  Shaharsafa Harsa, lived in a land comprised of carbonated salt cubes. Shaharsafa Harsa is one of the few reality wizards to dabble in helping others, which has lead to many people learning life lessons that don't mean anything at all.