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The Asscapades is a series of complete and utter nonsense. Well, it's a morning exercise developed by Julia Cameron in her best selling book The Artist's Way. In it, she describes a means of getting all the drivel and negativity out of yourself before your conscious and rational mind is fully awake.

I have been doing this off and on (mostly off) for the better part of a decade. However, as I go through her course once more, I've found that my morning pages have a comically chaotic nonsense to them. So seeing them take such a turn I decided I would make a blog full of my morning pages or "brain drain". These are The Asscapades.

Wednesday 1 June 2016

Pt 18: The Element

Thursday June 2nd, 2016
9:12 am (8 1/2 hours of sleep)

The discovery of yet another element was such an exciting prospect to Dr Brikenhauser that he had quite forgotten to check on the stability of his new element. Brikonium, as he would name it, would prove to be a most interesting element indeed. As he danced about the lab unfastening the cork from a bottle of champagne and pouring the bubbly liquid into his lab assistant's out held glass, everything grew completely still. The champagne poured like molasses and movement became quite difficult. It was as if the element in it's moment of decay was draining the kinetic energy from the room to stay intact.  The effect was that movement in the element's vicinity would keep it's bond much longer and much more intensely.

Dr Brikenhauser deduced as much and set his assistant to building a machine with as many moving parts as she possibly could. Given the resources around them and a lack of an engineering degree between either of them, the machine turned out cruder than hoped for yet still effective in it's purpose. Though the building of it was difficult indeed with the Brikonium's effect. Whilst putting the finishing touches to their machine while dancing about to keep the Brikonium alive, they noticed the element started to vibrate slightly.

Their kinetic machine now functional with no clear purpose other than to create as much kinetic energy as possible was dubbed 'The Kinetifier'. Though moving the crank and moving themselves grew more and more difficult due to the absorbing effect of the lump of Brikonium, they persisted. The lump of Brikonium started vibrating more intensely while also absorbing it's own movements perpetuating it's own cycle. Suddenly, emanating from within. A deep ultraviolet light brought scrawlings across the wall in a language that neither of them knew. They supposed it must be an ancient dialect of Armenian as these things always seemed to be.

While the doctor and his assistant set about to record the text, the element's continued movements seemed to have yet another effect on itself. The sound in the room distorted in strange ways. Pitches changed and frequencies shifted at will. It was as if sound too was being absorbed by the element.

As the vibrations grew so did the intensity of the light and the distortion of sound until... There was a flash of blinding yet dark ultraviolet light as the element exploded with all the energy it had been fed. Though due to the continued absorbing effect, the explosion seemed to both be an explosion and more menacingly, an implosion. This was the worst case scenario. A singularity had formed in his laboratory. Dr Brikenhauser noted the only things being pulled toward the singularity were he and his assistant. It seemed only organic tissue, movement, and sound were affected by the singularity's pull. The doctor felt his feet slowly fly out from under him and as he hurtled toward the singularity, he pondered all the actions that brought him to this point. Cause and Effect. He would have chuckled if he had the mind to. However, he didn't seem to have a mind for anything as his screams tore from his throat and headed first into that sucking unknown.

His assistant had tried to not fall in by holding a chair but had just dragged the thing with her. She disappeared past the event horizon. The doctor wondered whether he would ever see her again. This, however was the last thing he thought in our plain of existence as he fell headlong into the void.

Without organic tissue, sound, or movement to keep the singularity stable, it collapsed. The pages of ancient text and a missing chair being the only evidence of anything ever happening.

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