Monday May 23rd, 2016
8:12 am (5 hours of sleep)
Getting into a good dead space is imperative to surviving the Not-Quite-Dead-But-Almost-There Olympics which is held in Cardiff, Wales. Only the most elderly or brain dead may participate in the games. A couch sweet potato of a man by the name Earl Essex of Michigan, is the long reigning champion of the NQDBAT games with Batilda Molkovavich of Moscow in second place.
Trilbys are the number one hat of space slugs. Sabbout The Slimy was the last to be seen wearing a fake mustache and a trilby before the great deportation of all things slimy during The Great Pantomime Incident of Trawnelii IX.
Faceling mothers can't quite seem to remember their children due to the ever changing nature of their species. When the leader of the Squibbands gave himself up for the safety of his people, nobody expected him to return. Turns out the hate filled Xarzoonians only wanted him for his superior quality O-Belt Stew. Once he made a good batch of the stuff, they pantsed him and sent him on his way.
Tantrum inducing billy goats make people of Ireland do stupid things hundreds of times a week. This phenomenon is questioned by most as a ploy for parliament as the goats seem to have political aspirations not known to most. Tales of the Effervescent is an international best seller in the ghost stores of Australia and the Solomon Isles.
Todderick Vexington once came at me with a dull spoon. His mum had just made him a bowl of porridge and we all know how Ol' Toddy hates porridge. Similarly, his sister Walinda can't stand the sight of a french baby. It sends her frothing at the mouth. It once got so bad, she was given a power washing to defroth herself.
Tagglin Neighry is the smartest kid in his class of extremely dull and stupid children. So it really isn't saying much at all. However, Tagglin once diverted a terrorist attack by boring the would be mass murderer to actual literal death while riding the bus one day.
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